Ugly on the inside, pretty on the outside.

It's amazing how wonderfully perfect a family can look on the outside but be such a disaster on the inside.  I will admit, last year wasn't one of my greatest years.  I had a boyfriend that my entire family loathed, I disrespected my parents by staying out late and never answering their phone calls, and every day I received a two hour lecture on how horrible I was and repetitious crap that I didn't really give a shit about.  I really had a horrible relationship with everyone in my family; I guess you could say I was the outcast.  But this year was supposed to be (and is) different for me. I wish I could say the same for my family though.  They hold things from my past against me and I will never live it down.  I'm eighteen years old, I don't usually stay out late (late = 11:00 pm which is pathetic), I don't drink, I don't get stoned every weekend and I do great in school..... or at least I try my best to. I also try to be the best daughter I can possibly be by doing chores, answering calls, breaking all bad habits that I may have had, being completely honest but nothing I ever do will be enough.  I guess every family has their issues and this is mine.  But its hysterically funny really.  Whenever we go to church on Sundays, like we do every week like the wonderful Christian people we portray ourselves to be, people swear that we are the "ideal" family. If only they knew how sadly mistaken they were.  I never get a break, but one day I will, and thats the day thats keeping my chin up and a nice big grin on my face.  Until then, I figured its time for a change, Ill keep being good this year; maybe some good will actually come out of it.  

One of those days.

Yesterday was such a beautiful day.  It was one of those days that no matter how tired you could possibly be, or how famished you are, you just cant help but be happy.  It was sunny and warm and everyone was out.  I decided to be spontaneous and skip the whole church to home routine.  I dropped off my sister at her swim practice and I decided to do something random; something I wanted to do, and something that would benefit me and make me feel even happier.  I ended up jogging by the water near Caesar's Bay in Brooklyn with my brother.  I jogged about two miles and walked one mile.  It was such a liberating experience watching all the couples and old people walking by with their pets or their children right by the shimmering water.  And the best part was that I actually did it and I wasn't even tired.  That just goes to show people that your body is a lot stronger than you think it is.  My brother is a little on the heavy side so I plan on doing this with him at least once a week to get him in shape (even though he falls behind while jogging quite often).  From this small experience, I already have a new goal in life.  I will run the NYC marathon one day and it will be nothing but pure awesomeness.  It was just one of those days.